It's my birthday .....
Its my birthday. 45 years old. I have always imagined, for some reason, that I would live to 90. That means I am officially in the second half of my life. Sobering thought, time for taking stock. This time last year I was a tax partner in one of the biggest firms of accountants. I had worked hard for 15 years to get there, and had been partner for a few years. Reasonably successful, in a regional office, never going to set the world on fire, but earning a very substantial pay pack , and mostly keeping my partners happy, even though the pressure was constant to deliver more. I had also been a volunteer for a fantastic faith based aid agency for a while, and my interest had taken me to Rwanda a couple of times. More on that later. The huge contrast between making my living helping the rich get richer by not paying their fair share of taxes, and more and more of my time taken up by a passion – driven by my faith – to help make the poorest of the poor a little richer by night and weekends was beginning to make me feel a little schizophrenic and something had to give.
Anyway, I will tell the story another time, but on 1 February this year I left the professional rat race behind me, with all its benefits and pressures, all its professional standards and questionable ethics, all its status and security, many great colleagues and a few not so great for the wonderful world of the Christian aid agency. And what a magical ride its been for the last few months. Its not been easy. There have been challenges, there has been stress, but all positive. I have had some assumptions challenged eg about what I imagined it would be like working in a faith based agency (Why don’t we pray more? Why don’t we use the language of faith a little more? Do we strive to be “cutting edge” or “prophetic”?) And yet the huge respect and admiration I felt for the many staff I knew when I was a volunteer has only been reinforced; there is such passion at work in the everyday here and it sounds a cliché but I have enjoyed every single day. And the organisation is as good as I knew all along it was, doing tremendous work (cutting edge and prophetic in my view) even while grappling with the changes required to keep in tune with the sometimes conflicting demands of the modern world and the faith based support base.
I have a management role. Some of the people I manage are the most passionate and committed individuals anyone could meet. That can make it difficult for a newbie to manage – and yet the feeling of respect I have for them actually makes it easier – we are all fighting for the same thing and they have been doing it for years while I have just been lining my own pockets. I sometimes wonder whether I am paying my way – every day I ask myself “what have I done to help the poorest of the poor today” and sometimes feel I am coming up short of justifying the salary I am paid (just a little bit less than in my previous life . ….)..and yet there is a deep seated joy in the work chosen for me (term deliberately used) and a deep belief and humble satisfaction that I am doing what God put me on this earth to do.
Is it better to work for charity than business? No. I am firm believer in the need for business to create wealth, a theme I will return to on these ramblings. Is there something innately wrong in the accountancy profession that means a socially conscious person cannot work in it and maintain their integrity? No. But I needed to move. Some can fight for justice from within. We need those people in all spheres of society. I could no longer motivate myself to sell tax avoidance schemes to the rich. My passion was to help the poorest of the poor. Couldn’t I have done more for the charity by continued volunteering (we use volunteers extensively and they do far more as a body than the staff in many ways) and giving loads of money away, self funding trips abroad to the coal face? Very possibly. But my heart was telling me to move on. My lack of motivation for the previous job was beginning to cause tension anyway so something had to give. I have no regrets, but will continue to measure very carefully my contribution – this is no easy ride and there is such a responsibility to spend the money wisely. Trips to London used to be a case of first class by default. Now its get the cheapest possible, even if that means staying later. Just means I have to stay and have a drink with colleagues …what a sacrifice!
Passion is the key word. I had fun and challenges galore in the profession. I met great, fiercely ambitious, sometimes greedy and hard nosed, often well meaning and decent people in the profession. People I enjoyed working with. But there was no passion. No sense of calling. That’s what I see in the aid agency I work for now. And the feeling that what I am doing has intrinsic worth and the feeling of calling I have is priceless. I have the privilege of going to work and living out a passion, living a dream. I spent too long trying to have my cake and eat it – applying for jobs in the sector that were too senior so I could get more money. I eventually found the job for the post I knew I was suited for, and bit the bullet. I will tell the story in more detail later if this blog gets established and I can keep it up. (False assumption number 1 – its taking the easy life moving into charity and you’ll have loads of spare time….)
Over coming weeks I will pick out various aspects of the first few months, in no chronological order. Time will come to move the ramblings on to the present, but not yet as there’s lots to catch up on. And even if no one reads them it will be good for me to document the journey for my own sake. Back to the birthday cake and the great supportive family who let me do this for now …..
Anyway, I will tell the story another time, but on 1 February this year I left the professional rat race behind me, with all its benefits and pressures, all its professional standards and questionable ethics, all its status and security, many great colleagues and a few not so great for the wonderful world of the Christian aid agency. And what a magical ride its been for the last few months. Its not been easy. There have been challenges, there has been stress, but all positive. I have had some assumptions challenged eg about what I imagined it would be like working in a faith based agency (Why don’t we pray more? Why don’t we use the language of faith a little more? Do we strive to be “cutting edge” or “prophetic”?) And yet the huge respect and admiration I felt for the many staff I knew when I was a volunteer has only been reinforced; there is such passion at work in the everyday here and it sounds a cliché but I have enjoyed every single day. And the organisation is as good as I knew all along it was, doing tremendous work (cutting edge and prophetic in my view) even while grappling with the changes required to keep in tune with the sometimes conflicting demands of the modern world and the faith based support base.
I have a management role. Some of the people I manage are the most passionate and committed individuals anyone could meet. That can make it difficult for a newbie to manage – and yet the feeling of respect I have for them actually makes it easier – we are all fighting for the same thing and they have been doing it for years while I have just been lining my own pockets. I sometimes wonder whether I am paying my way – every day I ask myself “what have I done to help the poorest of the poor today” and sometimes feel I am coming up short of justifying the salary I am paid (just a little bit less than in my previous life . ….)..and yet there is a deep seated joy in the work chosen for me (term deliberately used) and a deep belief and humble satisfaction that I am doing what God put me on this earth to do.
Is it better to work for charity than business? No. I am firm believer in the need for business to create wealth, a theme I will return to on these ramblings. Is there something innately wrong in the accountancy profession that means a socially conscious person cannot work in it and maintain their integrity? No. But I needed to move. Some can fight for justice from within. We need those people in all spheres of society. I could no longer motivate myself to sell tax avoidance schemes to the rich. My passion was to help the poorest of the poor. Couldn’t I have done more for the charity by continued volunteering (we use volunteers extensively and they do far more as a body than the staff in many ways) and giving loads of money away, self funding trips abroad to the coal face? Very possibly. But my heart was telling me to move on. My lack of motivation for the previous job was beginning to cause tension anyway so something had to give. I have no regrets, but will continue to measure very carefully my contribution – this is no easy ride and there is such a responsibility to spend the money wisely. Trips to London used to be a case of first class by default. Now its get the cheapest possible, even if that means staying later. Just means I have to stay and have a drink with colleagues …what a sacrifice!
Passion is the key word. I had fun and challenges galore in the profession. I met great, fiercely ambitious, sometimes greedy and hard nosed, often well meaning and decent people in the profession. People I enjoyed working with. But there was no passion. No sense of calling. That’s what I see in the aid agency I work for now. And the feeling that what I am doing has intrinsic worth and the feeling of calling I have is priceless. I have the privilege of going to work and living out a passion, living a dream. I spent too long trying to have my cake and eat it – applying for jobs in the sector that were too senior so I could get more money. I eventually found the job for the post I knew I was suited for, and bit the bullet. I will tell the story in more detail later if this blog gets established and I can keep it up. (False assumption number 1 – its taking the easy life moving into charity and you’ll have loads of spare time….)
Over coming weeks I will pick out various aspects of the first few months, in no chronological order. Time will come to move the ramblings on to the present, but not yet as there’s lots to catch up on. And even if no one reads them it will be good for me to document the journey for my own sake. Back to the birthday cake and the great supportive family who let me do this for now …..
posted by Mark at 3:41 PM
5 Comments:
Hi and thanks for your comments - nice to know someone reads my little blog! What made you turn to it?
Sorry I haven't replied before - as you'll see from the blog I have been away in the Philippines with Christian Aid.
Not sure what advice to offer really. I do believe there is a need and a place for Christians with integrity in business. Equally, I have come to a place where I reject a lot of what that business stands for - especially the tax avoidance area I was in - and don't regret moving out one iota. What I would say is this: I personally would not move from the place I'm at at any point in time if there wasn't a positive "pull" rather than just a negative "push" - a sense of calling if you like ie I waited till I knew there was a pull into something else before leaving a profession I had become disillusioned with. Once I had got to that place, the simple fact is I had to address the money issue. That one would have been a lot easier if I had made the decisions earlier in my career - the more money you have, the harder it is to say goodbye to it! So - if the only reason to stay put in a business career is the money...I don't think that's a good reason. And if you feel a real pull to nursing - go for it! Equally - if you stay put in the professional realm - there's a real need for people of integrity ....just make sure it doesn't get whittled away without you realising it, which was what was happening to me.
Hope that's in some way helpful.
Must try and resurrect the blog now!
I came across your blog by chance. I am an accountant who has just posted an essay titled "Who wants to be an accountant?" on his blog.
Your story inspires me. Maybe one day I too can volounteer...
Hi,
Is everyone that reads this an accountant. I have been at the same place for a while. I have already made the decision to leave accounting and do something more fulfilling. I was just doing a search on "ngo career accountant" when I came across your blog. Have you any tips on finding a career within an NGO. Ideally in a spanish speaking country as I am learning the language and it's not totally selfless ( I also worry about my retirement too). I don't mind working as an accountant with an NGO but with prefer something more hands on. I think the skills of an accountant are easily transferrable to many other positions so I don't regret my training. Sorry for rambling here but it's late and year end so I better get some sleep...long day tomorrow! Appreciate any tips
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gosh, i cant believe i read your blog about this thing. my name is joyce from the philippines and i have been a social activist way back in college. now im working in a call center. i finished BA Public Administration and wish to pursue an MA in Social Work or Community Development. hope i'll do that this coming June 08. im 22 now and i hope that it's not yet too late to do social work - this is my real passion ever since. up to the point that i became a rebel here. really need to quit my job and do some volunteering before june. hope to meet you in person. :-)
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